© 2012 Matthew Lee Johnston

My PopCap exit email.

Today is my last day working for PopCap Games…err…I mean….EA. This is the letter I sent on my way out:

———-

Dearest Colleagues & Friends,

I wanted to let a small group of you know that my last day at PopCap will be this Friday.

I despise farewell email messages so much. No one ever leaves a job because everything about it was awesome, but people always try to make it sound like that. Sometimes people aren’t leaving because they want to, but they never say that either. Regardless of what opportunity awaits, if there is one, it’s still a scary proposition to leave. If there isn’t anything waiting for them on the outside, people will say “I can’t disclose where I’m going, but you’ll know soon enough and it’s GOING TO BE AWESOME!!!” Those people are usually lying. Departure emails never seem to convey fear, disappointment, or regret, but some mixture of that cocktail is almost always the truth.

…but not for me!

I am going to leave here on Friday and do so many unbelievably gratifying and meaningful things. The first thing I’m going to do is live out my dream as the security guy in this building. I’ve always wanted to see the interior of the 12th floor (where I hear they keep the monkeys) and grimace at you when you first enter the building every morning. Starting next week I will get my chance. So it will not be awkward, I would like to kindly ask that you do not acknowledge me as you have known me, but that you refer to me by my new security guy name: “Carliss 2”. Once I’ve done that for a few days, I will temporarily move to Barbados, where I will establish the world’s first freemium “discovery center” for dolphin/human intimate relations. While John is out bringing water to the famished, I will be monetizing the liberation of the libidinously-challenged mammalian inhabitants of the Atlantic. Once my aqueous DAU and ARPU get me to an acceptable level of ROI, I am immediately going to sell out (again!) and begin my fourth career as a professional human acronym. Wait, I already am one… What I do after all that, well, I can’t disclose that right now but you’ll know soon enough, and it’s going to be awesome!

I will leave you with some of my favorite PopCap memories:
Working with some amazing people to ship games like Bejeweled 2/Blitz iOS, Peggle iOS/DS, PvZ XBLA, those *@%#-ing click-wheel iPod games, Hammerheads Palm, the 4th and Battery label….and that totally rad plastic Bejeweled TV game stick thing. Oh…of course…helping to shape PVZ 2 into the awesome game it is and will be.
Being humiliated in front of my wife and new co-workers at the 2006 PopCap holiday party, by randomly drawing an entry into a dance contest to be held in front of the entire company. After being squarely beaten by Chad and Ben Lyon, (who *I think* did the Running Man) it’s amazing that I have any self-esteem left.
The day we hired our first African American employee and someone accidentally made his start date MLK day. I sent an email to HR pointing this out, which resulted in an immediate company-wide declaration that MLK day would now be recognized as an official PopCap holiday, which also happened to be the very next Monday.
Having the honor and priviledge of representing PopCap, but more importantly the extremely talented ASP team, at the Make-A-Wish annual fundraiser: http://youtu.be/cLp4m1r_1LY
Anyway…it’s been a grand 6 years, and that’s the truth…Ruth.

If you want to stay in touch, please feel free to connect with me on Linked In: http://www.linkedin.com/in/matthewleejohnston
Or send me an email any time: mattleejohnston@gmail.com

Don’t be a stranger, do stay cool, but please don’t freeze.

Smootches,
MLJ